Ew, Go Away

10 Simple Rules on How to Not Be a Total Creep

10. If you’ve known someone for 2 days, do not ask them for their number. This is creepy.

9. If someone declines giving you their number on a Tuesday, do not ask again on Wednesday. This is creepy.

8. Following someone around campus is not cute. This is creepy.

7. If you used to date someone and they broke up with you and you didn’t like that they did that, don’t use weird “scare tactics” to try and get them back (i.e. telling people you have “spies” that keep a look out for you). This is creepy (and will not get that person to like you again).

6. If you have a girlfriend/boyfriend/wife/husband/lover, for the love of all that is holy, do not try and flirt it up with someone else when your significant other is not present. This is not so much creepy as it is a way to get yourself labelled as a pompous slimeball.

5. Learn to use soap. And a shower. And a tooth brush. Bad hygiene is creepy and disgusting.

4. Do NOT start planning out our entire future together after we’ve known each other a week. This is so creepy.

3. Play it cool. Desperation is creepy.

2. Be yourself because no matter how hard you try, your true personality is going to shine through eventually. Then you’re going to be “not the boy/girl I fell in love with” and that is dumb and creepy.

1. My numero uno pet peeve: If a girl or a guy tells you that you are not their “type,” just let it go. It may just be an excuse to get you to leave them the heck alone or it might legitimately be that they do not find you attractive, either in personality or looks. If I’m a quiet bookworm who appreciates geekiness and a dry sense of humor, do not be offended if I knock you down when you’re a loud, out-going football player with a 7th grader’s sense of humor. There’s nothing wrong with you, we just don’t mesh. And that’s not a “stupid” excuse. Would you really want to date me if I didn’t have any feelings for you? That would be creepy.

Until I’m in a better mood, dear readers.

xx Chloe


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